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Nervous and Excited

Things are quickly becoming reality.

After months of planning and collaborating and designing, book 1 is coming together. Today I got the first physical proof in the mail and I'm so anxious about it, I feel like I could be sick.

This is really happening. This is real life. HOLY CRAP.

Holding a physical copy of book 1 is surreal to the millionth degree. I was transfixed by it, just soaking in the crazy mixed emotions of it all. The book in my hands, the weight of it in my grasp. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I'm terrified as much as I am excited.

My stomach is in knots and my chest is tight and my heart keeps randomly pulsing.

I know the saying is, "Do what scares you", but gosh golly gee.

On one hand I am so excited for people to read the book and to hear reactions and (Lord willing), gain a small fanbase. On the other, I fully understand why people keep referring to my books as "my babies".

I've honestly never attributed that level of love to my characters, but I am now genuinely terrified for their sakes. Will people like them? Will they be ridiculed and bullied, their choices and actions scrutinized? Will their struggles be conveyed appropriately so that readers will know how they feel? Have I done them justice?

The coming months will bring many long days and stressful moments I'm sure. I pray I'm up to the challenge.


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