How...how did we get to less than a month till book launch?
It feels like just yesterday I was in Ocean City, sequestering myself to no entertainment outside of my computer and working tirelessly on the last round of major edits of The Rise of the Raidin. It doesn't feel like that long ago when I was at camp. Has it already been over a month since I was in New York, visiting friends in the Buffalo area?
How is it 26 days until book 1 goes live?! How are pre-orders of the Kindle version already a thing?!
There's so much I still have to do, and still so much to finish writing. I wish I didn't need to sleep.
This is so surreal. To be sharing photos and character sketches. To be turning on the character pages and the bestiary. To be receiving editorial reviews that award a "Must Read" trophy to Rise. To talk with the local bookstore about an author event at the end of November.
I'm so excited, and I'm so terrified.
I go back to childlike worries.
Will people like the characters? Will they connect with this beloved gang of mine? Will they want to adventure with them? Cheer with them in victory? Cry with them in heartbreak? Will they want to talk with me? Am I using all of the skills I have at my disposal properly? Have I done it well? Have I tried all I can? Have I overshared? Have I undershared? Have I used the wrong hashtags? Have I used the right company to do this or that? Have I neglected friends for this dream? Have I prayed hard enough? Am I grounded enough in reality? Do my hopes overshadow the facts? Can I ensure I'm not disappointed? What if it fails? What if no one reads it? What if it never grows? What if it all is a waste of time? What if they reject the story? What if they reject the characters?
But what if they don't?
What if they write fanfics? What if they draw sketches? What if they look for clues and ask questions? What if they send messages and write comments on posts? What if they develop theories? What if they scour the pages for clues for where we're headed? What if they attach to a character? What if they find healing through their journeys? What if they latch onto a quote that gives them something to laugh about, or something to hope for? What if it does so much more than I can imagine? What if my imagination - for once - lacks the depth of what could be? What if that one reader feels changed because of what I mashed into being on a keyboard? What if it could be what I hope for?